I’m not one to follow what happens to celebrities too much but on my way to work this morning, I heard that Justin Bieber made yet another mistake. Early this morning he thought it would be funny to drag race while under the influence and was arrested for miserably failing to walk in a straight line and while this would be the perfect time to play jokes on how I’ve always questioned his sexuality and how nothing about him is really “straight,” I’ll hold off.
And is it just me or has he gone immensely more reckless since he and Selena split? (What’s their portmanteau? Gomez + Bieber = Gober? Pronounced “Goo-ber,” yes?) You’d think that the boy who has it all would stop being such a blatant twit. Buuuuutt I digress…
The weekend is almost here and we need a little something to get us through Thursday and quickly to Friday night and unlike Bieber, we will do it by laughing and not starting happy hour early, thank you very much. Here is a compilation of some of the funniest and logical Bieber memes I could find that I by no means own. Enjoy because these are memes you don’t need to be drunk or under-the-influence to comprehend.
All the haters will have fun reading this, and for those a big fan of JB will get mad at me. People love making fun of him because of the way he looks and sings, so enjoy these jokes.
Justin Bieber Short Jokes
Q: What’s the difference between a water bottle and puberty? A: A water bottle has already hit Justin Bieber.
Q: Why is Justin Bieber so pale? A: Because theres no light in the closet!
Q: How do stories from Justin Biebers early childhood begin? A: “A few months ago”
Q: Why doesn’t Justin Bieber eat bananas? A: He can’t find the zipper!
Q: How did Justin Bieber hurt his head? A: He fell off a ladder trying to reach puberty!
Q: What does Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree have in common? A: Their balls are just for decoration.
Q: What does Justin Bieber and the New Years crowd at Time Square have in common? A: They’re both waiting for balls to drop!
Q: What will happen if you call Justin Bieber gay? A: He will slap you with his man purse.
Q: What is Justin Bieber’s new hit single? A: “If I were a Boy”
Q: What’s the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga ? A: One of them has balls and it ain’t Bieber.
Q: Why is it sometimes alright to judge a book by its cover? A: Sometimes it’s named ‘Justin Bieber’, and you know its crap!
Q: Why is Justin Bieber like Ms. Pac-man! A: Just a token and she’s ready to swallow!
Q: How hard is puberty going to hit Justin Bieber? A: Harder then Chris Brown hitting Rihanna! I heard Justin Bieber has an 8 inch dick, But it’s in his ass and belongs to Usher.
Q: What does Justin Biebers asshole and his mouth have in common? A: They both produce the same shit!
Q: Whats the difference between Justin Bieber And a Snickers bar? A: A Snickers bar has nuts!
Q: Why do Justin Biebers male friends nickname him “Shotgun”? A: Give him a cock and he’ll Blow!
Q: If Eminem is the King of Rap, what is Justin Bieber? A: The Queen of Crap!
Q: What is the biggest lie of 2011? A: “Justin Bieber is the father of my Baby” – Mariah Yeater.
Q: What is Victoria’s Secret? A: (whispering) Justin Bieber is gay! A teen girl walks into a medical clinic and tells the doctor she has “Bieber Fever” Doctor: Nope it is Herpes!
Justin Bieber Bar Jokes Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Daughter: Hey mom,I’m going to my room with my boyfriend. Mom: Ok, don’t do anything stupid. (Boyfriend and Girlfriend enter the bedroom) Daughter: Baby, baby, baby, OOOH! (Mom run’s into the bedroom)
Mom: What are you doing?!
Daughter: We are having sex!
Mom: Oh thank god, I thought you were listening to Justin Bieber
JB on CSI Boy is watching CSI and crying. His mom enters room.Mom:Why are you crying son? Son:Justin bieber got shot!Mom:Dont worry its only on TV! Son: Thats why I’m crying!
Justin Bieber’s mother often tells his friends stories of when he was little. The stories are from a few months ago.
Who’s that girl singing? Oh…Wait…Thats justin beiber
I called Justin Bieber gay, and he slapped me with his purse.
Yo Usher! Are you coming out tonight? -Nah I’m babysitting Justin Bieber!
Justin Bieber always sings about girls… she must be a lesbian.
Hey you guys are so mean to Justin, leave HER alone!
Justin Bieber kept video of himself striping in YouTube, which caught the attention of gay manager and next day he became star.
In an interview with MTV News, Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe said that when he heard Justin Bieber sing for the first time, he thought he was a woman. That’s ridiculous. Justin Bieber is not a woman. He’s a girl.
In next season of Disney’s Hannah Montana , Justin will be playing the role of Hannah Montana.
Police are now using Justin Bieber’s songs as torture devices.
Even deaf cannot resist the song of Justin Bieber.
Kim Kardashian received death threats from Justin Bieber fans after he jokingly tweeted that she was his girlfriend. One Justin Bieber fan tweeted that she will use her lunch money to hire a hit man.
Q. What’s the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga ?
A. One of them has balls and it ain’t Bieber.
Justin Biebers new song is “if i were a boy”.
You’ve got to feel sorry for JB ………….. She’s under extreme pressure with all the hype surrounding her.
Q: How to make Justin Bieber cry?
A: Tell him Santa’s not real!
Justin Beiber fell off the ladder trying to reach puberty .
Justin Beiber will star on next transformer movie , his name in transformer will be “Faggatron” .
Q: When will Justin Bieber win the Grammy ?
A: After Justin Bieber hits the puberty , damn he will never win Grammy then.
JB wants new Barbie Doll kit as christmas gift .
JB doesn’t need mic to sing , no one needs mic for lip-syncing .
Q: Why did the Chicken cross the Road?
A:To get away from Justin Bieber!!!
JUSTIN: mom i think i finally hit puberty
MOM: really? how do u know?
JUSTIN: I’m bleeding from my vagina.
Stop making fun of him. Every time you make fun of him, you’re making fun of someone’s daughter.
Instead of saying when pigs fly say when justin beiber hits pueberty.
According to E! , Justin Bieber and Usher is in relationship and was found on late night dating. They will marry once Justin turns 18.
“Justin Bieber Finally hit the Puberty” was the biggest April Fool Joke of the Year .
13yrs old Girl got detention for misspelling “Believers” as “BELIBERS”.
The Justin Bieber song “Baby” is the official theme song of Gay Association .
Obama : We are going through major crisis , all the teen girls are becoming Lesbian.
Press : How can you tell than ?
Obama : Because they fantasize sex with Justin Bieber .
Q:: Why did Justin Bieber Crossed the road ?
A:: To reach the puberty .
Justin Biebers not gay, just ask his boyfriend!
Selena Gomez will Never get a boy-friend,
Next day news: “Selena and Justin in Relation”
Told you, she turned lesbian .